You see them dotted around the landscape

Intersecting paths of desire

Curious balls of fluff

They graze and glare

All curled horns and slit eyes

To assuage my fears I seek guidance…

How to Defend Against a Ram

1 Be aware that they can outrun you, easily

2 Keep your head up – to lower it is to challenge. And you don’t want a challenged ram on your hands!

3 Ram backing away? They’re getting ready to charge…muster your most casual walk and proceed forward.

4 If charged, dodge out of the way – careful to avoid snapping your ankle in moorland bog

5 Nothing else for it? Wrestle it to the ground by the horns… no time to be sheepish!

None of this comforts me!

The actual genuine list of advice.

A comedy film about Rams.